Since I did a good enough job to get reelected, I figure I will continue with all of my policies.
#1 - Make more and more people dependent on the federal government - for their food, housing, income and even their cell phones!
#2 - Since you don't seem to care if the economy ever recovers and you still think it's Bush's fault, I will continue to ignore the 14.4% real unemployment rate, the 12 million out-of-work Americans and the record low labor force participation rate. Oh . . . pay no attention to the negative GDP growth rate.
#3 - Since you don't care about that I am bankrupting the country by adding $6 trillion to the national debt in less than four years and have three straight $1 trillion budget deficits, I will continue "investing" money that we don't have. We already borrow $0.40 of every dollar we spend. My goal is to get that to $0.50 by 2014.
#4 - Since you seem to approve of my foreign policy, I will continue doing whatever the hell I want (or not) in Syria, Egypt, Libya, Iran, North Korea, Iraq and Afghanistan.
#5 - Since you don't seem to mind paying $3.50 for a gallon of gas despite the fact that it was $1.80 when I took office, I will continue to do nothing to reduce prices.
#6 - Since I can continually lie to you with no consequences, I've decided to come clean: I am going to raise taxes on everyone. I am going to continue shoving Obamacare down your throats (NO you can't keep your doctor, NO premiums will not go down, YES it will increase the deficit, and YES there are death panels). And that Ambassador dude that died in Libya . . . it wasn't because of the video! My bad.
#7 - Since you show no interest in the immigration issue, I'm changing the definition of "illegal" to "legal" when it comes to illegal immigrants.
#8 - Rich people are bad.They don't pay their fair share . . . unless they donate to the Democratic Party and say things like, "my secretary pays a higher tax rate than me" then they get bailouts and can participate in the Obama Crony Capitalism Gravy Train.
#9 - Since you don't seem to mind the continued devaluation of the Dollar, The Federal Reserve will continue printing money.
#10 - My top priorities are important issues like gay marriage, gun control, climate change and making the NFL a safer sport.
I used to worry that you guys would wake up and realize what I am doing to this country. Now I don't give a shit. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, the state of our union is . . . getting weaker every day!
